2.5D lock-up due to 50 shouts

On 30 Jan 2021, boy reached 50 shouts, so jail term starts Sunday 31 Jan.

By default, this requires 3D in base-camp. If boy chooses when to start, it is also 3D.

After this “jail term”, penalty is reduced to 1D for 20 shouts.

##vulgar words on parents

Boy said “笨猪“ to parent 7 times till 23 Jan.

5 offenses to be punished for 2D phone lock-up starting Mon 25 Jan.

surprise smack on dabao’s lap #smash=safer

Sometime in Feb 2019, perhaps on my reunion trip…

Luckily I used my palm, not my fist or my feet, not a stick, so I knew the impact he experienced. Not as painful as the smack by my mom or the deliberate physical punishment on both kids.

Luckily I hit him on a fleshy part, so his bones are not impacted. if he were standing, then the slap could have delivered an unintended impact on the joints.

Nevertheless, Boy burst into real tear and ran into his room and locked the door. I immediately got up and chased after him and apologized “爸爸打得太重了“. Boy later revealed to me that the main reason (perhaps the #1) for his ran-away was “我被吓到了”. Indeed he was running away from a volcano.

Every time I witness 大宝痛哭的眼神流露出的恐惧, my heart melts down.

In hindsight, it would be safer to slap slightly lighter a few times before slapping that hard, to lessen the frightening experience.

Of course, it is even safer to smash something on the floor, just to release the anger and show him how much I was hurting. It’s one safer way to show my hurt without hurting him. Therefore, smashing is safer than yelling and violent slapping as those are usually out of control.  Is smashing safer than a controlled physical punishment? Not always. Smashing can be frightening.

See blogpost on smashing.

Strangely, I wonder why I never got so angry with my daughter.

tough physical discipline of Chinese parents #boiling anger

I have memories or knowledge of Chinese parents using physical pain as discipline. Sometimes result in bruises and minor bleeding.

… luckily never as result of my actions … sigh of relief

Some of my son’s classmates and my friends were subject to routine whipping at home.

— spectrum .. Subconsciously I put those images at the end of a spectrum which includes my level of punishment in the middle section. Sometimes that end is regarded as unacceptable or criminal [1]. Other times that end is regarded as commonplace and widespread among the Chinese parents. That’s how I legitimize my acts.

[1] as a parent, I put myself into a defensive position. Other family members could become witnesses to a criminal act. Singapore police investigation officer will take up the case as long as there’s a report filed.

Therefore, low-impact, no-trauma physical punishment is safer. I always remind everyone:

• must have other adults present, as a restraint
• avoid boiling_anger. Calm anger is … acceptable.

— parent’s motivations for severe physical punishment:
anger_relief is dangerous.
corrective_discipline is acceptable. This includes “scare him”.

4.5D for touching breast 10 times #partially served

1.5D served up to 5 Jan.

3.5D served up to 7 Jan

妹: most dreadful penalty #spitt`smack`kneel..

I asked meimei on 1 Jan 2021 Q: which punishment is most uncomfortable? She said

1. daddy spitting on her
2. smack on the /butt/ .. mother’s presence is a key prerequisite.
   1. However, many parents lose self-restraint and beating goes out of control. These parents are often over-confident in self-restraint.
3. kneeling on floor or saw-toothed surface
4. stand facing the wall .. widely endorsed

Q: which punishment is more scary?

James Madison handyman said “scare your kid” only for education on electricity. I feel “scare her” is not a general approach to discipline.

3D (served) for 50 shouts includ`shouts@22Dec

.5D(served)for urine@X’mas

lie about laptop charger #40 shouts

On Christmas eve, boy watched Terminator and cleaned up the laptop+speaker  but forgot the laptop charger cables. Dad told him to clean up. Boy first said no knowledge, then dragged his feet for a long time. Dad decided to penalize the lie as 10 shouts but due to the fan clean-up, reduced to 8 shouts. So far, 32 shouts.

On 28 Dec morning, boy used vulgar words on Mom, so 44 shouts so far.

1D(served)punch daddy@Breadtalk + finger injury

— 19 Dec. Dad doesn’t remember there was any major reason for this punch.
Dad burst out in Breadtalk, then 3 minutes later in the lift.

— 22 Dec on return trip from Ikea, dad was talking to boy while reaching out with a gentle touch on the forearm. Without looking, boy gave a powerful elbow swipe, almost sprained the middle finger of dad’s hand. 10 hours later, on 23 Dec morning, the injured finger still felt different from the same finger of the other hand.

This is 3 days after the Breadtalk incident.